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A Russian Who Spoke Fluent Spanish

A Russian In Mexico A Russian In Mexico

A Russian Who Spoke Fluent Spanish

I remember like it was yesterday.  It was probably 8-10 years ago (circa 2002-2003), and I was in a friend’s house with a bunch of my (mostly Russian) friends.  I don’t remember what the conversation was about specifically but one friend mentioned how he enjoyed last Thursday’s poker game, how it was a great crowd, and how he enjoyed meeting Vlad, a Russian guy who spoke fluent Spanish after living in Mexico for 5 years.  That last part about speaking fluent Spanish and living abroad really got me curious.

I immediately pictured a young Russian guy living in Mexico City, having tons of cool Mexican friends, going out, partying, shooting the shit, maybe even having a hot Fresa (a snobby mid-upper class Mexican female) girlfriend.  In another words someone who is completely immersed in the culture and not merely someone who came to Cancun for a weekend.  Had the language been German and the country Germany, I’d probably not given it another thought, but if you’re cool and fluent in Spanish, you’d have no problem integrating into Mexican culture (which I consider my favorite Latin American country, and Mexicans some of the friendliest people).

It took me a while, but around 8 years later, I’ve finally done it.  Between random back and forth trips to Tijuana and Ensenada, I’ve finally booked a one way ticket to Mexico City, a city I’ve been dying to go to for a long time.  I didn’t live there for 5 years, but managed to do a solid year.

The Plan

After that I flew to Bogota, Colombia.  My plan was to spend 1 week in Bogota, and 1 week on the Caribbean coast.

I checked into my hostel, and made friends with everyone.  The next day, during a typical Colombian tropical rainstorm, all of us sat in the living room and exchanged travel stories.  A quiet guy in his mid 20s mentioned how he was going to spend the next 6 months in Bogota writing his master’s thesis, and thus was looking for an apartment.

I surely found him different than the typical of “backpacker” crowd.  Unlike a typical backpacker, who wouldn’t stay more than 3 days in this city, here’s a guy who would made this rainy and cold city his home for the next 6 months, and above all, without knowing anyone in advance.

We talked a bit more and he mentioned how he also lived in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil for 6 months.  Obviously I was genuinely curious about everything from the language to the girls to the security of the city.

Unknowing to him, a seed was planted in my head and made me wonder if perhaps one day I’d be able to to just go to somewhere and stay for minimum of 6 months, without knowing anyone and not even speaking the language before hand.

I was right and wrong.  In less than a year, I was on a flight to Rio, but I ended up staying about 2 years.

And that’s the way I’ve been traveling ever since.

It’s All An Investment

I pick a country that I feel is worth my investment (time, money, but mostly time) come here and stay put for minimum of 3-6 months, if not more.  I learn the language, the culture, traditions, understand the country on levels that backpackers and other passerby’s merely scratch the surface.  I view time as the most scarce resource that we all have, and the best way to take advantage of that resource is by making investments — investments in yourself by learning and growing, and not just sleepwalking through life.

Basically I want to know every city I live in as good as the city I grew up in: Brooklyn, NY.

Why spent your whole life in one city, when you can get to know 10+ world class cities equally, solidly, expertly as good?

They say that people in New York walk a certain way, so that it becomes easy to see who is from New York or who is not.  But how do they walk in Caracas, Venezuela or Rio de Janeiro, Brazil?

So the next time someone asks me, “Hey, what’s Rio like? Is it dangerous?” I can tell them the REAL story from the ground.  Not how Rio is dangerous but how it’s a complicated city and that you’ll have no problem if you don’t do stupid shit that most Western tourists do (and subsequently pay for).

I’ve met and read about people who’ve been to over 90 countries.  Great! But anybody can do that.  I can buy a round-the-world ticket and see a ton of countries.  But, what value did they gain from hopping on a flight after flight? How can you learn anything about the place if you spent a week or even two there?  I want to tell people from the point of view of a local, but a week’s worth of travel is anything but.

Obviously it varies from place to place. I personally like to seek “developing/southern” cities since they have a much more interesting story to tell.  I’d take Palermo, Italy over Berlin, Germany any day.  And a city like Los Angeles, with it’s man-made, mass-produced synthetic culture is definitely not for me.  On the other hand, culture-rich cities like Rio de Janeiro-Brazil, Istanbul-Turkey and Odessa-Ukraine are just teeming with things beneath the surface waiting to be discovered, and understood.

It also varies in the amount of time. Brazil is a huge country and warranted my extraordinary time.  As I’m losing my interest in all things Spanish, any further travel to a Spanish city, like Barcelona or Santiago, would be quick.

As I get older and (hopefully) more travel savvy, I begin to view my 3-6+ months as a solid investment.  When it’s time to board my flight out of the country, I better have something to show for.  I better have accumulated something that made be a better, wiser person.  It’s like I’m an onion that’s adding layers every time I live abroad.  I better be fluent in something.

If I lived in a country and barely picked up anything, then I’d wonder what was the point?  If I wanted sunny weather, I could’ve just stayed in Miami.

And that Russian who spoke fluent Spanish? I’m him now, except not only does he speak fluent Spanish but also fluent Portuguese as well.

The Secret to Speaking A Foreign Language Like A Native

Speak A Foreign Language Like A Local

Speak A Foreign Language Like A Local

Everybody has their own method of learning a foreign language.  Whether it’s Rosetta Stone, Flash Cards or a million other ways, there’s never a shortage of different techniques or tips for learning how to communicate in a language other than the one you grew up talking to your mom in.

I view one’s competency in a foreign language as something that falls into one of the following three levels.

Level 1 is Basic.  At this level you can ask the very basic things such as ‘Where is the bathroom’ or ‘Can I have the check please’.  It’s the most basic level, but still shows that you did your homework and is certainly better than playing a game of charade.

Level 2 is Conversational.  This is a level where you can freely carry a conversation about what’s on your mind.  Even though you still make gramatical and other errors and you’ll probably have a hard time dealing with very specific topics like calculus, physics or anything of this sort, but for day-to-day things, especially in a social setting, you can express yourself freely.  If you can continuously converse with a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend without ever switching to your native language, then you’re at this level.

Level 3 is Fluency.  This is a level usually reserved for people who are born into the language, or have started learning the language at a very young age.  They know the in’s and out’s of the language.  They know all the idiosyncrasies of the language even without realizing that an idiosyncrasy exists.  The benefits is that you know all the necessary vocabulary, speak with no grammatical errors.  The language flows effortlessly enabling you to engage locals, express yourself freer, and even possibly mask yourself as a local (or at least someone from a neighboring country or state).

I’m fluent in 2 languages and conversational in 2 more.  My native language is Russian, and as I learned English at a young age (10), it’s my second fluent language — pretty much at the same level as my Russian.  My Spanish and Portuguese fall into my conversational camp (although my Portuguese is moving quickly to fluency).

 

So how do you learn to speak a language like a native?  Easy, you must move to the country and live there for a year or two.

I repeat: you must physically move to the country and live there.  The length will depend on your exposure to the locals.  If you get yourself a significant other and a healthy social circle of local friends, you’ll improve faster;  if you only talk to expats, you’ll move a lot slower.

The main reason is that the key to effectively learning a new language is mimicking local speakers, and not constantly thinking about grammar rules and verb conjugations.

Ten years ago, I was driving to work while listening to a Mexican radio station.  Someone called in, and the host asked the caller, ‘Como le va?’  Having studied Spanish in school, I never heard that expression, but from then on that’s what I started using when asking people how are they doing.  I don’t know/care whether that’s a grammatically correct way to ask, but if a local speaker asked, then it’s good enough for me.

So that’s how I’ve been successful in picking a new language.  That’s my secret.  That’s how I came to dominate Portuguese, and which is why it’s much better than my Spanish.  That’s also considering that I’ve been learning the latter for more than 10 years, and I never took a single class of the former.

I mimic people.  I memorize what people say and why they say it.  I look for their emotions when they say something.  Then I repeat it.  I don’t ask why, or ask them to clarify or even whether something else is correct.  If a local speaker says it, I write it down and say it.

I learn how a baby learns, no questions, no argument.  If a local says it, it’s good enough for me.

That’s why it’s so valuable to surround yourself with locals.  Every time you have a conversation, or ask a question, you’re given a free private language lesson.  It’s there, you just have to listen to it.

My Portuguese is even more potent because I know a lot of slang that exists in particular regions.  I know when to say it, I know why to say it.  I can joke, be sarcastic and be emotional in that language.  I can make someone cry or laugh purely using the language.  That’s true mastery right there.

My Facebook/Twitter feed is littered with Brazilian comments about particular situations.  Whether it’s a funny photo, or an interesting news item, there’s always a valuable language nugget that I will memorize and say it when presented with a similar situation.  You can’t learn this in school.  You can’t learn this from a textbook.

Languages are about having an emotional connection with someone above all else.  What good is a language if you can’t do that?

The Right Time To Study A New Language After Just Learning Another

photo_aboutscola

After learning Portuguese this past year, I realized learning a new language is not as hard as it seems at first.  I’m now pondering finishing up the Latin languages by learning French and Italian (going to skip Romanian for now), and then possibly moving into German.  Already knowing Spanish and Portuguese, I’m confident that French and Italian would be pretty easy to learn.

Since I do not like to learn two language simultaneously, one has to determine when is the right time to start putting all your energy into the new language and not so much into the previous one.  Obviously there will never be a point when you’ll know the language perfectly, but there have to be certain benchmarks that prove you’ve accomplished a particular language to the best of your ability.

So here’re some of my mental notes that I make to see how far I’ve progressed in my Portuguese study:

  • Being able to communicate with native speakers verbally
    You should be able to communicate for long periods of time.  For instance, you can spend time with the person for days or weeks and be able to explain yourself perfectly as well as understand the other party.  The conversation does not need to be heavy with academic or scientific jargon, informal is fine.  Also, it’s important that the party whom you’re speaking to is able to understand you clearly without asking you to repeat yourself too often.

    I can effortlessly hold a conversation with a native speaker for any amount of time.  I’ve had several friends/girlfriends in Rio with whom I’ve only spoken Portuguese all the time.  The other day I toured NYC with two Brazilian girls while speaking only Portuguese the whole day.

  • Carry on a written conversation
    You should be able to easily carry on a conversation via email or instant messaging.  Since the conversation is pretty informal, there should be no need to lookup words.  This task should be like having a conversation in English.  That means correct grammar and spelling of the words.

    I regularly have conversations via MSN with Brazilians, about random events on the same level as my conversations in English.

  • Read two good-size books
    You should be able to read two good-sized novels and be able to understand about 95% of the vocabulary as well as grammar.  You should be able to explain the plot of the novels to someone or perhaps right a paper about the books.  Finishing the books is the key, it doesn’t matter if you had look up most of the words, but you must finish them.

    I have read one full book, and half way through a longer, more difficult book.

  • You should be able to understand television programs.
    You should be able to effortless watch TV shows and understand close to 90% and of the conversation, and obviously the main purpose of the show.  You should be able to explain to someone what’s going to show if the person doesn’t understand it.

    I watch television show called CQC and have no problem understanding almost all of the dialogue and meaning of the show.

My Portuguese is nowhere near native level, but I feel that once I finish the second book, I’m ready to embark on a new language.  And that will be either French or Italian.

Random thoughts on Brazil

Some thoughts on Brazil after a year of living in no specific order.

  • Brazil is the only country in the world where some people would tell me I look 100% Brazilian.  Interesting because I don’t quite fit in in my birth country nor my current (adopted) country.
  • If you want to see real (stereotypical) Brazil, go to Bahia state and around that area.
  • Brazilians are obsessed with beer and football.  It didn’t take long before I become obsessed with both as well and I couldn’t care less about the either before.
  • Everyone in Brazil has a favorite football team.  What’s yours?
  • Brazilians drink moderately (mostly beer) but eventually stop.  I have rarely seen a visibly drunk Brazilian (male or female).
  • In Brazil, all foreigners are given a fit-all label ‘gringo’.  That term originally came from Mexico to mean ‘green—go (away)’ referring to the green uniforms of the US soldiers.  American in Mexico? Gringo. Russian in Mexico? Not gringo.  But you will be a gringo in Brazil if you were not born there.  Even though Brazilians do not consider it condescending (it just means foreigner), I personally wouldn’t like to be labeled merely as ‘a foreigner’ if, let’s say, I was living in Brazil on a permanent basis.
  • Brazil is incredible diverse country.  It’s difficult to comprehend this thought unless you travel around.  One of my regrets is that I didn’t travel around when I was living in Rio for a year.  When I started to travel around the states of Minas Gerais and Sao Paulo, I was impressed with the difference of food, and especially how different the people acted and spoke.
  • Brazilians are very proud of their nationality.  I got the feeling of segregation in some way as one can be either a Brazilian or someone else (regardless of nationality).  Every time I met a Brazilian, they would always ask how long I’d been in Brazil and if I liked it here. Always expecting a positive affirmation, the latter question seemed to me as an ego boost, than to satisfy their curiosity.   Yes, I like your country.  Yes, I’d love to come back.  However, I like other countries as well for other reasons and Brazil is far from perfect.
  • It’s difficult to create a strong friendship with a Brazilian (in Rio).  Most of the friendships I’ve created were with other foreigners.  The only Brazilian who I consider a good friend was actually someone who lived in America for eight years (18-26) and is more Americanized anyway.
  • There are really two types of Brazilians: those who lived in Brazil all of their life, and those who traveled/lived a bit abroad.  I found the latter to be more open in terms making any kind of connection; while the former more close minded about dealing with foreigners.
  • Cariocas (Rio residents) are flaky creatures.  I can’t blame them because time moves slower in Rio and commitments take a backseat to enjoying life.  It’s completely normal to invite someone over for 7pm, and have them show up at 10:30pm.  It comes with the territory.  After a while, I stopped moving against the current and became a bit flaky myself.  Don’t take it personal because that’s never the intention.  If you’re very punctual, forget Rio; try Sao Paulo instead.
  • Brazilians are very diverse, and it’s easy to look Brazilian yourself.  If you look Brazilian, your experience will be vastly different than someone who screams ‘gringo!’.  The latter brings more curiosity from opposite sex, and more chances of getting into trouble.
  • Every major area (Sao Paulo, Rio, Belo Horizonte) has its own dialect. Speaking Rio’s street dialect outside Rio de Janeiro state brings negative connotations.
  • Going out in Brazil is very different than going out in western countries.  Confidence, persuasion, determination is the key.
  • Brazilian women are extremely sexy, feminine and passionate.
  • Rio de Janeiro is one of the most beautiful – if not the most beautiful – city in the world.
  • Rio de Janeiro is suffering from gingo fatigue and will most likely increase in the future as the sites of both the Olympics and World Cup.
  • Rio de Janeiro International Airport is one of the most ugliest I’ve seen.
  • Sao Paulo is a very underrated city.
  • As a foreigner/gringo, you come with a built-in reputation as a sex tourist (especially in Rio/North East).
  • Brazil’s food is healthier.  I ate some ‘unhealthy’ food in Brazil: white rice, white bread, french fries, acai (full of sugar) but I never gained weight.  I would blow up if I tried the same diet in US.
  • Training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with the best in the world followed by a dip in Copacabana beach is truly exhilarating.
  • Brazil is one of the few countries that has no internal conflicts or external enemies.
  • Brazilians do not consider themselves Latino(a)s
  • Brazilians are very courteous in general.  If someone tripped or tapped me by accident in a crowded place, they would always say ‘sorry’.  I do not have this feeling in America.
  • Brazilians are very relaxed people (especially in Rio).  I’ve rarely seen any sort of tension between individuals; fights were even rarer.  Life is about enjoyment and not stress over meaningless issues.
  • Even though Brazil prides itself as ‘country for all’ (o pais de todos) you are and always will be a foreigner (gringo) if you were not born in Brazil, no matter how long you’ve been living there.  In contrast, in America, if you’re living there for sometime, you are pretty much an American.
  • Brazil is a place I can see myself living in.  I never felt like this in Central America, not in Peru, nor Argentina or Mexico.  But Brazil – I can see myself moving to and living the rest of my life in Rio de Janeiro or Sao Paulo, and take vacations to the coast or to Bahia.  I never felt like this in Lima, Peru or Buenos Aires, Argentina.
  • Brazilian Portuguese is cooler than the abrasive sounding European Portuguese.  Even more so when spoken by a woman.
  • Portuguese is very underrated.  Many people spent a lot of time in Spanish-speaking Latin America and cross into Brazil speaking Spanish.  But Brazil is arguably the most important country in Latin America and Portuguese is a very logical and beautiful language.

Did I miss anything?

My (Brazilian) Portuguese Cheat Sheet

So you’re in Brazil trying to get a better grasp on the language in order to better express yourself and experience the culture.

After ~ 2 yrs in Brazil, here’s my brain dump.

Nouns: male/female

  • Nouns ending in -o are usually male; endings in -a are female.
  • Exceptions: o mapa, a foto, etc
  • -ção are female (promoção, declaração, ficção) / -ção turns into plural like -ções (promoções, declarações)
  • -de are female (felicidade, cidade, responsabilidade)
  • -m are female (viagem, garagem) / -m turns into plugar like -ns (viagens, garagens)
  • Names of companies = female (Empresa) – A Microsoft, A Petrobras.
  • Names of sites = male (Site) – O Google, O Twitter.

Pronouns (meu, minha, seu, sua)

  • Pronouns’ gender follow the nouns’ gender
  • This took me a while to understand–just think of it as two words tied into one.
  • sua casa (feminine)
  • seu lugar (masculine)

Possession: Este(a), Esse(a), Aquele(a) / Isto, Isso, Aquilo

  • If I’m having a conversation with a someone, then:
  • Este: object closer to me
  • Esse: object closer to other person
  • Aquele: some object far away from either of us.
  • Isto: “this” but without mentioning an object in question.
    For ex, Correct: Que é isso (What is this), Incorrect: Que e isso pessoa.
  • Isso: “that” same as above
  • Aquilo: “that” same as above

Posession: De(o/a/os/as)   + este/esse/aquele   + ele/ela/eles/elas

  • A casa dele (de ele)
  • A casa do Roberto (de o Roberto)
  • A casa da mulher (A woman’s house [specific woman])

Preposition: Em(no/na/nos/nas) + este/esse/aquele

  • De: possesion of object
  • De+este = deste
  • De+esse = desse
  • De+aquele = daquele

Definite Article: O / A / Os / As

  • In English, we use “this” to signify an important object. e.g.,  ”I love this house”, instead of “I love a house”.
    This house is referred to a specific house, instead of being just any random house.
  • O = Masculine, A = Feminine, Os = Plural Masculine, As = Plural Feminine
  • For people, use O Roberto, A Marina, etc.

Para vs Por/Pelo(a/os/as): this has haunted me for a long time, since in English both signify “for”

  • Para: literally “for” as in direction or “purpose”  (Onibus para Sao Paulo, O quarto para duas pessoas, Presente para voce)
  • Por: As in “via”, “by” more of an indirect meaning (Obrigado por tudo, Estou andando por Ipanema)
  • Pelo(a/os/as): Por + a/os/as: Same as por but with a definate article (Obrigado por a comida = Obrigada pela comida)
    I’m not thanking the food itself, but I’m thanking someone else, a 3rd party, for making this food.

Preposition: in / on top of

  • Em + a/o/as/os = Na/No/Nas/Nos
  • Signifies to be “on top” of something or “in” something
  • Estou no (em o) Brasil / Bota isso na (em + a) mesa / Estou na (em+a) praia

Prepositions for places

  • Neighborhoods by tradition
  • Ipanema (no prep), Copacabana (no prep), Leblon (O leblon/no leblon), Leme (o leme/no leme)
  • Places that signify an object (river, reef, etc) contain a definite article (o, a)
  • O Rio de Janeiro (no Rio de Janeiro), Sao Paulo (em Sao Paulo)
  • Countries (definite article not used for Portugal, and ex-Portuguese colonies minus Brazil; Brazil and all other countries use it)
  • O Brasil, (no Brasil), Portugal (em Portugal), Angola (em Angola), A Russia (na Russia), A Espanha (na Espanha)

When to use definate article?

  • Possession: A casa do (de + o) meu amigo /  ”My friend’s house”
  • By tradition: see “prepositions for places” above
  • If a sentence has an “important” word you prefix it with definite article.
  • Frances de mentira (French person who is lying in general)
  • Frances da mentira (French person who told some big and intricate lie, also becomes like a possession, e.g., A lie’s french person)

A(o) vs Em/No(a)

  • ‘A’ means destination (but I’m not there yet), e.g., Estou chegando ao ponto, Estou chegando ao Brasil, Estou de volta ao Rio
  • ‘Em’ means that I’m there already. e.g., Estou no (em + o) Brasil, A caneta esta na (em + a) mesa

A gente = Nós

  • In Brazil, ‘a gente’ can signify ‘us’.  It follows the você conjugation form. For regular people (as in ‘they’, not including yourself and your company) you can use ‘as pessoas’

Verb forms

  • Brazilian Portuguese has only 3-4 forms (unlike 6 in Portugal’s)
  • I, you, us (can be ‘a gente’ which follows ‘you’ form conjugation), they
  • Eu, você(s), nós (or ‘a gente’), eles(as)

Verb tenses (past done, past continuos, present, present continuous, future)

  • Falar = to speak
  • Past done = I did something in the past and it’s done, over with.  (Falei – I spoke)
  • Past continuous = I used to do something in the past (for an extended time).  (Falava – I used to speak)
  • Present = I do this now / I’m doing this now (Falo – I speak / Falando – I am speaking)
  • Future = I will do this / I’m going to do this (Falare – I’ll speak / I’m going to speak – Eu vou falar)

Verbs: complex constructs (past, [past + past] cond, [present + future] conditional)

  • Past = I would/should have brought this (Eu teria/devia trazido isso).
    Using the combination of ter (teria) or dever (devia) + trazer (trazido)
  • Past + past = If I knew that, I would have brought this (Se eu soubesse isso, eu o trazia).  Using saber (soubesse) + trazer (trazia)
  • Present + future = If you were me, what would you do (Se voce fosse eu, o que faria?). Using ser (fosse) + fazer (faria)

Verbs: Request / Negative

  • Request: I want you to see this – Eu quero que voce veja isso
  • Negative statement: Don’t be like this – Não seja assim
  • After the word ‘que’ the verb changes forms. (e.g., ver = veja, ser = seja, pedir = pede, vir = venha, etc)

Because/Due to:  To explain that something happen in response to something else

  • Por que – Because – A escola esta fechada por que esta chovendo (The school is closed because it’s raining)
  • Por cause de(o/a) – Because of – A Escola esta fechada por causa da chuva (The school is closed because of the rain)
  • Pelo(a/os/as) - Responsible party - O Brasil foi discobrido pelos portugueses (Brazil was discovered by Portuguese)
  • Devido – Due to – O tempo refrescou, devido à chuva (Weather refreshed due to the rain).

Phonetics:  This took me a while to get.  What really helped was reading Irish Polyglot’s post and his explanation on the pronunciation.

  • Closed vowel: denoted by a little ‘hat’ above the letter: â, ê, ô
    A perfect example is the word alô (hello) when used in foreign countries.  Another example ‘roll’ (of paper, etc)
  • Open vowel: á, é, ó
    You say openly, like (ó in the word ‘call’)
  • Nasal: ção
    The ã in this case pronounced with their 50% of the air coming out of the mouth, and 50% from the nose.

That’s a quick overview to help to compartmentalize my thoughts.  Didn’t expect this post to be this long (over 1000 words), but it’s a nice outline of my language thinking process.

An Important Method for Learning a Foreign Language

Last time I gave a brief overview of how I tackled learning Portuguese, this time I wanted to talk about something more specific.

I used to know this one guy who prided himself of learning Argentinian Spanish.  He spent 6 months there, and his Spanish was decent. Every time I would ask him something, he would think for a moment and say it, explaining why it is gramatically correct.

Fast forward today and I’m having a conversation with an American about studying Portuguese here in Brazil, and when I ask him how would he say something, he also thought for a moment and gave me the answer and an explanation.

For both of the above cases, my question was how would I say, “If I could do it over, I would do this way” in Spanish and Portuguese.  It’s not a simple translation because there’re two verb conjugations needed; one for “if I could” and the other for “I would do”.  Now, I absolutely have no idea what the name of the verb tenses are, but apparently these tenses have names and as such certain conjugation rules follow from these tenses.

Now, for me it’s a complete waste of time to even know the names of these tenses, (e.g., subjunctive, imperfect, etc).  When you were a kid, learning your first language, did you have any idea what tenses were, and why they were used?  Absolutely not.  And you didn’t really care.

The best way to learn a language is to associate a speaker’s whole phrase with their emotional state.  If someone says, “I used to ride to work alot”.  That’s obviously different than “I rode to work today”.  Different meanings, different emotional state.

If I’m watching a movie, and someone says something, then I memorize his/her emotional state with what they said, and then I can say it the whole phrase next time when I’m in a similar emotional state.  I have no idea if if I’m using gerund, subjunctive or imperfect, etc.

If my gf screams at me, “I don’t want you to go out tonight”.  And the verb “want” is conjugated differently when used in a negative sense(as it is Spanish, Portuguese, Russian), then I will remember the rule that for negatives, the verb has to change.  I don’t know why, but I just go to with the flow.

Another example is that in Portuguese, to say “put”, you can say it via “por”, “colocar” and “botar”

One time I was getting ready for my jiu jitsu class, when someone screamed to a friend, “bota seu kimono ali” – “put on your kimono there”. That pretty much hardwired “botar” to anything relating with “putting on clothes” in my head.  I have no idea if it’s gramatically correct or not, but if a Rio de Janeiro native said it, then I’m sure it’s not wrong and I will say it from now on.

Then I was watching a Brazilian movie, and a speaker mentioned “bota um copo na mesa” (put a cup on the table).  Now I know that “botar” can also mean to put something on something.

Of course, I can never anticipate all emotional states that I will need to express; I haven’t yet been exposed to all of them, so I need to keep building them.

To do this, you must:

  • Interact with native speakers
  • Read books
  • Watch films
  • Watch tele novelas

One must stop trying consciously understand why something is the way it is, and just mimic it when you hear it being said by native speaker. Over time, your brain will subconsciously start picking it up and you will be learning the language like a local.