I used to believe for the longest time that the key to getting laid was having a wingman. I somehow thought that having great game didn’t matter; what did matter was having someone else to show up with.
Now, I know better.
First, most wingmen don’t have tight (or any) game. Most guys I know meet new girls via their social circles. Fewer have ever cold approached in their lives. To the rest, game means getting drunk and approaching fat girls at 3am in a dark club.
Some are also really good at playing the bad cop/good cop routine against you.
Once when I was in Amsterdam, I began chatting up a cute restaurant hostess. After finding out she was from Spain, I immediately switched to my Mexican-accented Spanish.
Things were going well until my Belgian friend sprang out of nowhere and told me to “stop harassing the waitress.” Even though he was only joking, he interrupted my approach and created an awkward moment. He obviously felt left out because he didn’t speak Spanish, but screwing it up for me wasn’t necessary.
Similar things happened several times in US, Central and Latin America. Most people don’t realize that I’m trying to get laid and not making some meaningless small chat.
Take terrible wingmen, combine that with constant traveling, and you have the perfect formula for going out alone. I simply didn’t have the luxury to call some cool cats in New York and fly them out to Colombia, Brazil or Argentina.
Initially going out alone was mostly a sporadic event. I’d hit a local bar alone every now and then, but return to it with a friend or two later on. Over time, I started going out more and more. I graduated to larger clubs. I even started to day game alone.
As I continued bracing the dangerous world of meeting women alone, I realized something. Instead of feeling more self-conscious and nervous, I began feeling the exact opposite. I began to feel more confident. I began to feel more powerful. For some reason being out alone without a “safe home base” of friends made me feel confident and powerful. I started feeling like a man, a man on a mission. It was like an addictive drug.
When I was living in Medellin I went out alone few times (mostly because my male roommate had PMS and refused to leave the house). On one of those nights I approached a gorgeous girl in Parque Lleras. The moment I came up to her, I felt this rush of adrenaline knowing that everything I do, I’m responsible for, and therefore I deserve all the success. I was the captain of my own destiny. I would never have this omnipotent feeling had I been with a friend. I fucked her two weeks later.
In Brazil, even though I was fortunate to have very solid (mostly Latin) wingmen around, I still went out about 20% of the time alone. I remember when I chatted up a very gorgeous Brazilian woman in a nightclub, something I rarely did when goofing off with my friends. The quality of my approaches and subsequent lays was always higher when I was alone.
Going out alone is freedom. I can travel anywhere and go out without dragging my close friends with me, or praying I’ll meet a great player.
Few months ago I was in Serbia where I day gamed and went out at night alone. Last month I was in Bulgaria where I did the same. Not once did I feel that having a wingman would somehow increase my chances of getting laid.
It’s the ultimate aphrodisiac to any man to be able to get on the plane, meet some exotic girl in a foreign country, and then fuck her. It’s certainly wouldn’t be the same if it was the two (or ten) of you doing it. There’s simply no substitute for being alone.
Doing it alone ensures that my success isn’t dependent on someone else’s presence. And that’s a great feeling.
When you think you need a wingman, you must ask yourself the following question: “will going out with him improve my chances of getting laid, or is it simply because I’m afraid of going out alone?”
Be honest when answering. If it’s the latter, then work on the root problem (gaining confidence). That will help much more than any wingman in the world.
For me, the proof is in the pudding. Lately my most successful pickups, which resulted in quality lays, were all done when I was alone.
Right now I view a wingman as a relic of some distant path. A past filled with insecurity and misunderstanding of what it really takes to fuck beautiful women.
The true answer lies in having confidence and game — not another body by your side.